PUT OLD ON HOLD Journal

What Older Single Women Don't Talk About

Are you an old (70) or much older (90+)  unmarried woman who would like to have a man in your life? You don't mention it to anyone, not even your closest girlfriends, because you will probably be offered a menu of reasons why you shouldn't consider it. One comment may go like this:

"Wasn't one husband enough for you? You gave that nasty old guy the best years of your life, and you have nothing to show for it. You are out of your mind to want more of the same again. All the old guys are over the hill. Do you really need someone to take care of at this stage of your life?" These are the kind of comments that may discourage you from seeking love in your later years.

Many women may have had a difficult marriage, but your husband was the best guy in the world. He was one in a million, and you were lucky to have him in your life. But remember, you are also a unique and valuable individual, and there are men out there who would be lucky to have you in their lives.

You think people will make fun of you and discourage you if you find a handsome and intellectually alert older man. The fact is, many suitable men are available and eager for a loving relationship, just as eager to partner up as you are. Yes, they may be younger, but so what? Are you caught in that horse and buggy age trap  that says "he must be older than you"? If so, kick it to the curb!

But you continue to think that friends, girlfriends in particular, will make fun of you and tell you to get over it. But you don't get over it.  You learn to keep your thoughts to yourself and hope you will meet the next love of your life.

Please understand that no one --  NO ONE is too old for love or too old to be loved. If such a thought haunts you, get over it. To help you do that, get a copy of Romance in Your Golden Years by couples therapist Colene Sawyer, PhD. Over 90, she did what she advised: She fell in love. You can do it, too. Her book is straightforward to read and full of helpful encouragement. Here is the table of contents:

What is different about elder romance?"
Grief and loss at the same time
To marry or not to marry?
Falling in love changes your brain
Your place and mine,  or ours?
Are there still fish in the sea?
Making a love story even better
Where will we spend our last precious years?
Golden years can be wonderful

Dr. Sawyer is a very positive woman who knows how to deal with the nitty-gritty of life. You don't have to believe or agree with everything she writes, but if you are well advanced in years and still want to love and be loved, this easy-to-read book is an absolute must-read.  It will give anyone, at any age, something positive to think about and act upon. Go for it!