A recent Science Daily press release claims research shows that High-Earning Women Want Older, More Attractive Partners.
Say what? Did I read that right? High earning women want OLDER more attractive partners? I get the “more attractive” part, but OLDER?
The researchers tackling this subject need to get out of their laboratory and get some fresh air in the real world.
Sure, some women, perhaps many, want older partners; that’s lingering horse and buggy conventional wisdom ingrained in our culture. It’s leftover from a time when women were groomed to be dependent and older men were mature and responsible and able to provide for a family. If you have watched even just a couple of episodes of “Judge Judy” you are aware that in our brave new world many supposedly mature men are useless leeches. It boggles my antediluvian mind that women offer men money in exchange for “love” and that a man would accept a “gift” of money from a woman.
But I digress.
I think most older independent high-earning women are not interested in a partner their age or older, even if he is “more attractive.” By the way, what is the definition of “more attractive”? A warty bearded toad, which is what many older men look like? I have it on good authority that high earning women prefer someone at least as attractive as they are, younger and, of course, a high earner. Oh — and they want a guy who “still got it goin’ on”. (The definition of “still got it goin on” being an ability to carry on a conversation.)
It shouldn’t take too much research to know that savvy high-earning older women, (and even those who are not high-earning), generally speaking, are not looking for a father substitute or a meal ticket nor are they looking to be a caretaker down the road when their “more attractive” older partner is in decline with Alzheimer’s. Every woman knows (or should know) that men do not age as well as women. Getting involved with a much older man is risky for an older woman– for too many common sense reasons to enumerate.
A woman at age 50 looking for a long term partner needs to be looking for someone ten years younger. If she finds one and they stay together, chances of her becoming a caretaker are dramatically reduced. Of course, SHE might end up needing care, but probably not. How often do you see an older man pushing a woman around in a wheel chair?
Finding a suitable younger partner is not all that easy, however. A successful high-earning older woman looking for a younger man is between a rock and a hard place on many counts. For one thing, while cougar relationships are a tad more acceptable than they used to be they still invite snickering and inappropriate remarks.
A financially successful older woman can be intimidating to a younger man. On the other hand, if she doesn’t have her head on straight she can be blindsided by a younger guy looking for a well heeled mommy substitute. Another reality is that a man at 50 particularly if he is “more attractive” is likely not interested in a woman his age, let alone an older woman even if she is smokin’ hot. He may be interested until she reveals her age and then it’s all over.
A couple of high-earning older women I know are married, but if single, claim they would not be looking for a same age or older man — simply because men after midlife tend to be more trouble than they are worth. (I didn’t say that; THEY said that. I really should stop hanging out with these women — they are skewing my perception and appreciation of older men and making me sound cranky.)
So there you are. They could be wrong; I could be wrong, but I think we pretty much got it right.
What do you think? 🙂
Barbara M. Morris, R.Ph. Editor