I cannot remember the Looney Tunes character who so beautifully ( even with a slight lisp) sings the sweet old song (one of those we do not often hear). Still, it went like this, “While strolling through the park one day, in the merry month of May, I was taken by surprise….” After that, a light romantic tune followed. May must have been a good month for Elmer Fudd or Porky Pig!
Well, we are now going into June, but my entire month of May was filled with answered prayers and lovely surprises, and I want to say how thankful I am for every single kindness bestowed on this humble soul.
The first week I was swooped in with deep nostalgia and visions of “What might have been” when my late husband’s birthday came around. I always think of him, but this year brought weeping and even dreams that we were dancing together as teens again. I got up in the middle of the night, realizing that these are dreams brought on sometimes by regret, loneliness, and a spiritual wish for a do” over” that can never happen now that he has passed on. I knew that if I planted my spirit in “what might have been,” it might not be so easy to untangle myself, so I thanked God for the time we had and for the excellent husband he was, and for what we both learned and I thanked Him for the beautiful children that came from that union.
After mopping my young life up off the floor and tossing all the blame and shame in the trash, I found myself able to write more on my memoir as I awaited my assignments from the Hadley Foundation to mentor someone who is having a hard time with vision loss. Wow! Did they ever match us just right? My person is an established author who lost her sight little by little, but she is a fighter. She was also a teacher, lives in Michigan, and is my same age, and we promised that we might do some mutual mentoring. We have spoken once but hit it off well, and we will have our first “real” session this coming Friday.
While that was happening, I applied for (and after a background check to make sure I had not robbed any banks….lately) I was accepted into as a Coffee Talk volunteer, where you spend a couple of hours each week, talking with, inspiring and helping (via) phone carefully selected seniors who are either just lonely or need help, referrals, or just someone who is lonely and needs to talk. There is a time limit and extensive training to go through, and I am still working on that. So much to learn. Boundaries are a big issue for me, because I am Miss Fixit, and this will also be good discipline for me.
Then, a few days ago, our caretaker came to the door with three good-sized boxes on a dolly from the Lutheran Braille Workers. Can you believe an entire bible in a set of spiral-backed books in LARGE PRINT? I have no idea who donated them, but now I can do my Facebook LIVE talks on there and lay the book down rather than pausing to look at it, squinting, and working with the Bibles I have. I will donate the Bibles I have that so many have sent me because they are large print but not large enough.
To top it all off, we have been praying in one group for the return of our estranged adult children. There is quite a group, and try as we might, it is not easy to forget and ignore the children of our hearts who fail and do not speak to us. We prayed fervently that God would touch their hearts and allow us to see them and talk to them, so for a while, it looked as if many were returning, but they were not the same. Instead, many returned with bitter hearts and accusations either born of their assumptions about what we did wrong or those that time allowed them to cook up to justify their anger and bitterness.
My suggestion to the group was to pray for God’s WILL instead of our own concerning our adult children. He already KNOWS the problem. So, many of us began praying this way.
Last week, my two surviving daughters called to let me know they will begin (as of that day) helping me with bills, etc., if I allow them to do so. I agreed, but though I sometimes need the help, I wanted us to begin now. They showered me with bill money. Money to put in my bank account and all kinds of groceries and personal items will help me immensely, but the proof in the pudding was I could see in their faces and hear in their voices that they were happy to be with their Mama.
A 54-year-old and 49-year-old, realizing that there is always love and forgiveness from this Mama, and I, the 75-year-old, able to admit that I did not always get it right, and instead of the bitterness and anger that we ALL were carrying, we can listen back to some pretty good times and show each other love.
I am hopeful, happy, and very thankful! Going into June with a smile! I know many “month” driven songs, like “June is bursting out all over,” but one month at a time, huh?
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past; see, I am doing something new! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?