Ah, science. I love it.
The weather in some parts of the country has become unusually cold from early fall to late spring, with unprecedented snow and ice storms that keep thermometers stuck below zero. Some climate scientists insist the frigid weather is indicative of global warming and it’s going to kill not only the polar bears but humanity as well. Brrrr.
Which makes me wonder: Should scientists be believed when they opine about anything?
For example, some scientists claim men are idiots. Not maybe, not possibly, but for sure. Here is the scientific evidence: Study supports the theory that men are idiots
I don’t know about you but right about now I am ready to hoist my “Men Are NOT Idiots” sign and organize a protest to make my outrage known. Frankly, I am horrified by such a dreadful, hurtful, sexist claim. I don’t care how scientific it is, I think it’s unfair to label ALL men idiots. (I’ll stop sobbing in a minute. I just have to wipe my eyes and blow my nose. Don’t go away.)
I feel better now and I’m thinking more clearly so let’s have some reality here. If men are idiots it’s because women allow or cause them to behave like idiots. I refuse to believe it’s just testosterone overload that is responsible for episodes of male idiocy. (Girlfriends, don’t hate on me for this allegation — hear me out.)
Here are three pieces of evidence to support my contention that women can be bigger idiots than men:
1. Women put up with beards, which are in effect, a male burka. How can you read a man’s face when it’s indistinguishable from the mug of the hairy gorilla in the “Gorilla Glue” commercial? (No offense to gorillas intended – I don’t want a posse of PETA people pursuing me.) Look, a woman can’t get a driver’s license with a scarf covering her face yet bearded guys looking like grizzly rejects from the stone age are readily given a license without any fuss. I don’t see women protesting the unfairness of that — clear evidence women can be bigger idiots than men.
Then there is the hygiene issue. Aside from looking dirty, beards are a health hazard, harboring all kinds of nasty germs and remnants of the secret sauce from last week’s (maybe even last year’s) Big Mac. Yeah, yeah, I know — not all men are slobs but give a man a beard and you give him a license to be a moving mass of contagion. If women demanded that guys cleaned up, men would behave and look less like idiots.
2. An alarming number of women think money can prove and or buy love and loyalty. I offer as evidence the number of cases that come before Judge Judy — stupid women who “loaned” money to idiots and are trying to get their “investment” back. The guys unabashedly insist the money is a “gift.” (More than a few of the giftees are bearded and wear earrings. Not only are they idiots, apparently they are gender conflicted as well.)
3. Women are such idiots they even pay “their share” on a “date”! Outrageous! Girlfriends, listen to the voice of experience! If a guy wants to be in your delightful company he should consider himself lucky to be in your presence and be willing to pay for the privilege, not with a couple of smoothie drinks from the local organic food truck but with flowers and a first class dinner complete with the best wine. If he is worth the effort, you can provide some scintillating conversation. He will never know what hit him.
The bottom line is that men may be idiots but women can be bigger idiots because women are smarter than men but don’t always know how to use those smarts. (Alas – most men don’t know how to use the paltry amount of smarts they do have.) Women give up their power hoping to be loved but wind up being used by whatever needy bearded creature happens along and is willing to move in with them to “share expenses”. An expense a woman often incurs as part of an arrangement with an idiot to “share expenses” is bailing him out of jail which he considers a gift.
Men are idiots? Let’s think about this. Men may be opportunists, but idiots — not so much. So called “women’s liberation” has paid off for men in ways too numerous to mention and they are taking full advantage of the benefits. They would be idiots not to.
Certainly, I could be wrong about all of this, but probably not because I know everything and I am always right about everything. The last time I was wrong we had an earthquake here in California, and that’s been a while ago so I guess it confirms that I have been right about everything ever since. That’s not scientific of course, but who cares what science says, anyway.