OH, they are smooth but, actually, not as smooth as they THINK they are !!! Isn’t that usually the case??? I’m sure there are females who do this same thing but I am now speaking of males. Seems as though all of them read a guidebook on ‘how to outtalk AND OUTWIT OTHERS. They surely do try. We, of course, have seen all this before. We are smart enough not to be taken in by all this hot air.
He is usually nice looking, maybe even handsome. He might pretend to be a serviceman – far away from home, often in another country. That is enough to not only get our attention but will generate sympathy for this poor lonely bloke, so far from home and loved ones. He often has at least one child that he misses terribly Sometimes there is no other family. SAD, SAD, ISN’T IT? More sympathy; the least we can do is try to cheer up this sad guy, right?
Whether he connected with you, simply on Facebook or a dating site, he quickly SHARES more info about himself. Usually a widower but sometimes divorced. Of course, his ex-wife “did him wrong”; you would never do that to him,, would you? Of course not; he can tell that you are a loving, caring person. Of course. The same type he and his child needs.
By the THIRD message, he might be telling of his LOVE for you. Neither of you know ANYTHING about each other; you have never met, but he explains that he KNEW you were for him. Common sense, in meeting and getting to know each other (if you choose) has no place here. You might get a message from his ‘child’, if he or she is older, like a teenager. Starting out with, DEAREST MOTHER… now, that should get your attention, right? Of course, this well informed CHILD shares how happy she is to finally ‘get a mother’. She has longed for one since her Mom died when she was three. Are you sad and sympathetic for her yet? She is eager to meet you and for her new family to ‘be together’.
If HE is far away, HE could easily be writing in her name. But of course, you are nice and loving; you might even believe all this baloney. After so much info has been sent to you, he may get to the intent of the whole charade …like, “can you send money to help —– only until I can get to my money to repay.” Maybe this plea for money might not happen but it is often the point of the whole phony ‘relationship’.
He mentions how precious this ‘relationship’ is to him. You remind him that there IS NO relationship. You have simply responded to a message from a stranger. At this point, he does not consider himself a ‘stranger’ but actually, he is exactly that. He or you might have shared a few facts but, remember, you have never met.
The best thing to do is to immediately END that conversation. We aren’t so desperate (or stupid) that we are “taken in” by this malarkey…and that is exactly what it is. These guys are called “ROMANCE SCAMMERS” and they definitely exist. Don’t be taken in by their smooth talk — they will sound too good to be true — and they are. They are false persons, playing on the feelings of others for their own gain. Usually, these are nothing new to many of us. We have met many in the past. Just be sure that you don’t allow a ‘fast-talker’ to ruin your ‘later years’. If they still try to outtalk you, this shows a controlling, DOMINEERING person.
83-year-old Lura Zerick is the mother of 5 adults, grandmother of 12 and great-grandmother of 7. She was born and raised in the Florida Panhandle. After living in Miami, Atlanta, Tampa and other cities, she now lives on six acres of woods in S.E. Alabama, near Geneva.