This is especially for “old guys” but has application for women as well.
It has been my experience that when many men get to about age 75 and often sooner, they are pretty much over the hill — NOT all men, but too many.
Unfortunately, when a man becomes a widower or divorced at an advanced age and hasn’t been in a relationship for several years, he may no longer know how to interact with a new woman in his life. Not only that, his health and cognition may be impaired and he has forgotten social graces women like and expect. He can’t carry on a “give and take” conversation because he hasn’t had one in a very long time. He takes a lot of different medications and he doesn’t really feel well a lot of the time.
While he’s a typical “old” guy he doesn’t necessarily need to be. It’s the daily “little things” we do that add up over time (diet and exercise); our mindset (“I’m old, I’m a senior,” “I can’t do it anymore”); and lifestyle (living by choice in a segregated world of old people who enjoy their oldness and don’t want to live any other way.)
Being chronologically old in our culture is a challenge. It’s a war between the manufactured retired senior mindset and lifestyle created as a result of the Social Security Act in the 1930s and the realities of the present day. The SSA not only gave license to people to sit down and decline at age 65 but made it desirable — giving the go-ahead to that part of our human nature that prefers leisure over effort. Living a leisurely lifestyle invites more leisure and it’s insidious because you don’t see the decline happening to your mind and body until it’s too late.
If you want to get back into the real world, and not feeling well in spite of taking medications prescribed by your traditional doctor, consider these suggestions.
1. CONTINUE taking medications prescribed by your traditional doctor. Then find a naturopath in your area who will do a COMPREHENSIVE blood analysis. Such an analysis yields about 6-10 pages of detailed results, including Lipid Tests, Lipid Ratios, Boston Heart Map Test, Boston Heart Cholesterol Balance Test, Inflammation Tests, Cardiac Muscle Function Tests — to name a few. Your traditional doctor may do a thyroid test and not much else unless there is a concern he is aware of. With a comprehensive blood analysis, you will learn about your hormone levels, (yes, men may need hormone adjustment!) inflammation markers, blood composition, diabetes indicators, cholesterol situation and so much more. For example, does your doctor test for elevated CRP (C Reactive Protein)? High CRP levels can indicate there’s inflammation in the arteries of the heart, which can mean a higher risk of heart attack. (By the way, you don’t need permission from your traditional doctor to get such a test ordered by a naturopath.}
The only drawback to having a naturopath is that they may or may not deal with insurance. My naturopath does not handle anything except Medicare. and Medicare doesn’t pay for medical care that is really helpful for me.
Getting a comprehensive blood analysis will tell you far more about the state of your health than information your traditional doctor can give you. Using your blood test results, you and your naturopath discuss ways you can help repair potential problems using diet and targeted supplements. (Yes, food matters. Read Prescribing healthy food in Medicare/Medicaid is cost-effective, could improve health )
2. Do some basic research. Not just about meds you are taking but also, check the availability of naturopaths in your area. Don’t ask your traditional doctor for a recommendation — you may be told naturopaths are dangerous because your doctor doesn’t have a clue what naturopaths do or don’t do.
3. If possible, find a low-stress job or volunteer at something you like that will require you to THINK. Just “staying busy” doesn’t do the job. The mature brain needs a nutritious diet, stimulation, and challenge to stay youthful. If possible, do some form of exercise every day. It doesn’t have to be complicated.
4. Evaluate your traditional retiree activities. They usually are not designed to support or promote growth and productivity because “retirement” means what it says. Ernest Hemmingway called “retirement” the most depressing word in the English language and he was right.
5. If you follow your naturopath’s advice about needed changes, your overall health may improve significantly. You may “come back to life” in ways you thought no longer possible.
Finally, your health is your responsibility. If you are “old” (regardless of your chronological number), looking for a vital partner and not feeling as good as you could, –” there is more than one way to skin a cat,” as the old expression goes. You CAN get back in the game with balanced hormones and specific nutritional techniques if you are open-minded enough to make changes in your thinking and behaviors. You CAN have the kind of life you really want if you try. How hard or easy it is depends on how determined you are. Go for it!
Anna "Ann" Lou Herzer, M. A. says
Great advice as usual. I’m sending along to others. Your emails are not being delivered from me. Message says mailbox full. Ann H