Well, Shiver Me Timbers ! I Found A Great Group — Or Did I?

Recently, I joined a FaceBook group whose title seemed inviting:  Christian Seniors Over 70! 

I thought, Well, shiver me timbers! Perhaps I have found a group that I can relax in. You know, a place where like-minded older people can sit around the virtual fire, be comfortable in their skin, and praise the Lord, all at the same time!

Now, experience with these types of groups should have told or reminded me that most folks of this ilk always, and with few exceptions, try to think and feel the same and have no wiggle room when it comes to stereotyping themselves just as the world has done, but hey, one can only hope. 

As soon as I introduced myself and provided a recent photo, the Welcomes and Happy Hallelujahs poured in! I thought, “Okay, this is cool,” but interspersed in this site, for every welcome and hello, there is one or more administrators reminding folks this is “not a dating site,” which never came to my mind. Still, the constant reminders let me know that some stealthy individuals, disguising themselves as seniors, were breaching the borders and, as one member said, “Hitting on old ladies.”

This was followed by a volley of comments (by women) who solemnly swore that “one husband” had been enough, recalling how their spouse had been extremely ill in the last few years of their life and how they had to “take care of them” and would never want to go through that again, followed by another continual one-word comment of “Amen” and for them, hundreds of them, the final word on romance, companionship and even shared dinner with anyone of the male species, is out of bounds. I guess for some, this is a reality that will not be okay, but as a person who loves destroying myths, I want to shout out loud that there is LIFE beyond Depends and Dentures, and every bit of that life is worth not only living but sharing with someone with whom we can share mutual fondness. 

The other day, my senior transportation driver was named Craig. Craig is a guy who, like many in his organization, uses his vehicle to transport other seniors to places they need to go. He was given all the details of my “special needs,” such as “the woman will need you to lead her into the post office and help her with steps,” etc., and Craig, a tall, still muscular (he is my age), gray-haired dude, was more than courteous. He held my hand, advised me to “watch my step,” and entered the supermarket after our post-office trip to help me pack groceries. It was a beautiful pre-summer day, and Craig and I shared some laughter and severe health talk. I had purchased two small flowering plants, and Craig handled them gently and brought ALL my groceries to my apartment door! 

I cannot explain my swoony feelings as they bubbled up inside after I closed the door. “Wow! What was that about?” I thought and did not expect anything from Craig because he is probably married. He said he is a church programmer, meaning he runs all church machines, like the big screen where the hymns and announcements are displayed, but even that gave me a little jolt of joy because he was such a kind and gentle man! (sighing and fluttering my eyelashes!) 

Back to the group I joined: Anyone who is so adamant about never allowing love or the thought of love into their life, whether as a widow or widower, may have their valid reasons, but to have no reason other than what society dictates, which is that we are too “old” to feel any emotion that does not smell like Ben-Gay or a daily laxative, is to buy, in my opinion, into the very thing that this society insists upon. That would be to perpetuate the myth and allow the old to LOOK, THINK, and OPERATE in the way that makes the rest of the world feel comfortable, and to go outside the so-called norm is what makes the world UNCOMFORTABLE. I am going with the latter!