I’ve concluded that awareness of chronological age is so culturally important that it functions almost like a religion. (According to the legal case Torcaso v. Watkins, a religion need not involve worship of a deity to qualify as a religion.) I view Age Awareness as a religion because of the devotion many people show to “the number”—their age—and to the rigid cultural rules that come with it.
Here are some of the unwritten commandments of the religion of Age Awareness:
- A woman shall not live in a way that invites the criticism, “At your age, why are you doing that? Don’t you realize how foolish you look?” Apparently, there is an age at which enjoying yourself becomes a public nuisance.
- A woman of retirement age shall adopt a traditional retired lifestyle, pursue culturally approved activities, and primarily associate with people her own age. She may take up birdwatching, discuss cholesterol levels, and compare prescription plans. Bonus points if she complains about “kids these days.”
- A retirement-aged woman shall not continue working if younger people believe they deserve her position. “Why is she still hanging on to that job?” Never mind that she may enjoy her work, excel at it, or simply prefer a paycheck to a rocking chair.
- A woman of advanced age shall not even consider joining dating sites that impose age cutoffs. Perhaps that’s just as well. Many of the aging men on those sites seem convinced they can attract a glamorous 25-year-old simply by posting a photo of their 2002 Mercedes and standing next to it with their sunglasses on.
- Romance for an older woman? How absurd. How inappropriate. Society often treats older women as if they should be neither seen nor heard—except when someone needs a babysitter, a batch of cookies, or free family counseling.
Are you an unintentional follower—or even a proselytizer—of the religion of Age Awareness?
If you are, chances are you haven’t yet reached the age at which these attitudes are directed at you. It’s easy to worship the calendar when the calendar is still flattering you.
If you have reached that age and accepted these beliefs because “that’s just the way it is,” perhaps it’s time to question them.
A woman’s age matters biologically during her childbearing years. Beyond that, what matters most is her physical and mental health—not the number attached to her birthday.
Age alone does not determine decline. How you live, what you think, and how you approach life all influence how well you age. The birth certificate may keep counting, but it is not the CEO of your life.
You have choices about how you want to live, regardless of your chronological age—not merely how outdated cultural expectations say you should live. After all, if society insists on reducing you to a number, you are under no obligation to play along.
It’s time to stop playing the numbers game.