Ways You May Sabotage Yourself

Joyce Shafer

Joyce L. Shafer

There are a number of methods to use to get clear about what you want and what actions will help you attain, achieve, and accomplish. But are you aware of these ways you may use often that sabotage getting what you want from yourself, others, and the Universe?

You certainly don’t want to sabotage your efforts, but you may have learned these behaviors and practice them consistently, without realizing what you’re doing. What makes it especially challenging to break the habit of them—and even to begin to notice when you do them and course-correct—is that so many around you do them, the media does them; you’re literally surrounded by people who practice one or more of them. And, the ones you practice arise so automatically in you from habit, you feel justified to use them.

Her are six such ways, though you may think of others.

  • You use sarcasm instead of saying, “This doesn’t work for me” or “This makes me feel (angry, bad, frustrated, sad, etc.).”
  • You use direct insults rather than expressing (or even feeling) a genuine desire to understand what’s going on for another that caused them to behave a particular way.
  • You sulk or rant rather than be solution-minded.
  • You use statements at a restaurant or elsewhere like, “Can I have . . .” rather than saying, “I’ll have” or “I want,” as though it isn’t your right to state what you want.
  • You talk about or dwell on what you’re afraid might happen rather than manage current matters as best you can.
  • You complain rather than look for and take positive action in order to manage or shift a situation you’re not happy with.

All of the first parts of the above behaviors are ways you sabotage getting what you truly want. When you do them, you live and re-live what you don’t want rather than what you do. When you do them, you are not clearly communicating what you really want to others and also not acknowledging that you have a right to a more fulfilling experience and a right to ask for it. When you do them, you place what you don’t want into the field that matches your vibrations and get more of what you don’t want, and can’t figure out why nothing improves. And, even if you only THINK them, you create the same result.

Wallace Wattles said, “No thought of form can be impressed upon original substance without causing the creation of the form.”

You may have read or heard this direct quote or some version of it, and you may even admit that it’s true. Wattles also said that holding the thought or vision of what we really desire, of maintaining positive thought and belief, is the hardest work we will ever do. You’ve probably noticed this fact. Wattles explained this struggle is because of appearances. The biggest challenge is how to hold the right thoughts despite what things currently (temporarily) appear to be. If you think about it, every appearance eventually changes into something else. And you do have the power to influence that change in appearance. If you believe you don’t, you’ll prove yourself right. If you believe you do, you’ll prove yourself right.

If you go through the process to get clear about what you want, and hold the vision, and affirm or whatever method you use to energize it, stop yourself if you begin to think or say or do any of the first parts of the six behaviors listed above. Find something to feel genuine appreciation about and hold that feeling. Maybe even feel genuine appreciation for the fact that you know this information and can use it. This can shift you out of negative thought or feeling because you cannot hold two opposing thoughts or feelings at the same time.

Sometimes just the act of not doing one or any of the six, and just allowing the inner space created by its absence, is a good enough first step to create the right shift that opens you to receive and expand your right to receive all your good.

You are not to deny what you feel. Feelings are natural, and there are productive ways to address them. Staying in negative feelings sends clear signals to the field—original substance—and they are followed through on as instructions directly from you—your order placed in the cosmic restaurant. This is how it is for every thought, word, and action that comes from you.

A Babylonian scholar wrote that our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits, our habits become our character, and our character becomes our destiny.

You may agree with Wattles that this way of behaving won’t feel or be easy, but the more you put it into practice, the more natural it will become for you. And you’ll see your desired results expand in your life.

Here are two powerful questions you can ask yourself when you notice your thoughts, before you speak, and before you act: Does this feel restrictive or expansive? Will this tear down or build up?

You are what you practice.

© Joyce Shafer

You’re welcome to reprint this article as long as you use my complete bio.

Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com) is the You Are More! Empowerment Coach and author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say, as well as more life and small business empowerment books/ebooks. Check out the terrific articles and Empowerment Extras in her free weekly online newsletter, and get a FREE PDF of How to Have What You REALLY Want when you subscribe at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com