Older Women Want Younger Men – Really

Barbara Morris

A Science Daily press release claims research shows that High-Earning Women Want Older, More Attractive Partners.

Say what? Did I read that right? High earning women want OLDER more attractive partners? I get the “more attractive” part, but OLDER?

The researchers tackling this subject need to get out of their laboratory and get some fresh air in the real world.

Sure, some women, perhaps many woman, want older partners; that’s lingering horse and buggy conventional wisdom ingrained in our culture. It’s leftover from a time when women were groomed to be dependent and older men were mature and responsible and able to provide for a family. If you have watched even just a couple of episodes of “Judge Judy” you are aware that in our brave new world many supposedly mature men are useless leeches. It boggles my mind that women offer men money in exchange for “love” and that a man would ask for a loan of  money from a woman and then insist it was offered as a “gift”.

But I digress.

I think most older independent high-earning women are not interested in a partner their age or older, even if he is “more attractive.” By the way, what is the definition of “more attractive”? A decrepit bearded toad, which is what many older men look like? I have it on good authority that high earning women prefer someone at least as attractive as they are, younger, and of course, a high earner. Oh — and they want a guy who “still got it goin’ on”. (The definition of “still got it goin on” includes an ability to carry on a conversation.)

It shouldn’t take too much research to know that savvy high-earning older women, (and even those who are not high-earning), generally speaking, are not looking for a father substitute or a meal ticket and they are not looking to be a caretaker down the road when their “more attractive” older partner is in mental and or physical decline. Every woman knows (or should know) that men do not age as well as women.

A woman at age 50 looking for a long term partner needs to be looking for someone ten years younger. If she finds one and they stay together, chances of her becoming a caretaker are dramatically reduced. Of course, SHE might end up needing care, but how often do you see an older man pushing a woman around in a wheel chair? If she is in decline, he’s going to wash his hands of the situation and put her in a nursing home and quite possibly, be looking for a new younger woman.

Finding a suitable younger partner is not easy, however. A successful high-earning older woman looking for a younger man is between a rock and a hard place on many counts. For one thing, while cougar relationships are a tad more acceptable than they used to be they still invite snickering and inappropriate remarks.

A financially successful older woman can be intimidating to a younger man. On the other hand, if she doesn’t have her head on straight she can be blindsided by a smart younger guy looking for a well heeled mommy substitute.

A couple of high-earning older women I know are married, but if single, claim they would not be looking for a same age or older man — simply because men after midlife tend to be more trouble than they are worth. (I didn’t say that; THEY said that.) So there you are. They could be wrong; I could be wrong, but what do you think?



  1. For the record, the wife of the French President is 25 years OLDER than her husband. To see them together you would not know.

  2. While we should not stereotype older men any more than we want to be stereotyped as older women, nonetheless, it does seem that men, in general, age faster than women. Certainly that is borne out statistically in terms of deaths and illnesses. And if an older man is even a few years older than a woman, as is customary, that problem is exacerbated. So, the big challenge for a woman is to find a truly interested younger man. The wife of the French leader seems to have done so! She is an example to us all.

  3. M. Thompson says

    RE: Older women want younger men–really. The best comment I ever heard re: subject came from a 70 something neighbor widow who said it behooves older singleor widowed women to remember that
    an older pursuer most likely wants either a nurse, a purse, or a hearse, and probably all three in one.

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