Maybe It Is All in Your Mind

Joyce Shafer

Joyce Shafer

Where do you experience most of your life? Is the majority of activity outside of you or inside your mind? 

I was with a person who, as other times before, talked about what’s perceived as wrong in her life, wrong with others, and recounted past events shared from a negative perspective. Yet, I didn’t have the same experience of this as I’ve had prior times. Instead, I was serene, which allowed me to listen and observe differently. In fact, my all-round participation was different. It was like being in freezing temperatures, but staying warm because there was a heater hidden inside my energy field. While the person complained, I felt cozy inside and out, with no need to engage or judge her “it’s cold and miserable” conversation. 

Later, as I thought about this, I realized that what I usually experience with this person is not the person herself as much as it is that I experience myself, that is, my perceptions, my judgments, my expectations, and my ego’s inner dialogue that likes to run on and on. This also happens sometimes when I’m not with the person. It’s called mind chatter, which is one of the biggest wastes of life force energy we self-indulge in. 

Often, we believe we are with others, or with life matters, but we aren’t really as “there” as we think we are. Instead, we’re inside our mind, listening to our insecure ego that is busy sniping about how it wants everything and everyone to be a certain way. This bumps us right out of being fully present, and makes us less prone to remember we are spiritual beings with an inner power more dynamic than we usually allow it to be for us. 

It’s easy to believe we’re engaging others and life, when what we’re really engaging is mind chatter. Sometimes we get so full of it, we spew it out, believing we’re having a conversation, when we’re just showing people what’s going on inside of us. Mind chatter happens; and if you let it have its way, it’ll have you upset and possibly doing battle with people, even if you’re alone in a room. 

How did I get into and stay in that more serene inner place at that moment? There was no fanfare about it, that’s for sure. I decided to hold silent power, to pay attention differently, to be with the person and the energy instead of in the mind chatter of my ego… kind of like watching a film. I allowed myself to stay connected to the truth of my inner power, as much as possible. 

Mind chatter takes up mental space, which means there’s little room for inspiration, creativity, and intuitive information to communicate with you then lead you along a more joyful, fulfilling path. I saw a parallel to this while trying to recall a dream. As an image from the dream came to mind, my mind began to chatter away, as though that could influence memory. The mind chatter went something like this: “So-and-so was there, and she was… no, wait! Darn, it’s slipping away. Okay, I do recall that… dang! That’s starting to slip away, too. I’ll never recall the dream now. It’s fading.” The chatter pushed nearly every image out of my mind. Is this process familiar to you? If not with dreams, perhaps in how often your mind chatter pulls you off topic and into Mental Yammering Land. (When I do remember a dream, it’s because I relax and allow the dream to play back.) 

What my experience with the person was also about was being in the present. I asked myself questions like: Do I choose to feel aligned with my own power enough to provide appropriate energetic and other support to this person? Am I listening with more than my ears and ego? What and how do I choose to engage, and is this engagement supported by my personal power and connection to Spirit… or my ego? 

Personal power helps you stay stable. Stuff happens. If you’re not engaging your power, then anything, even small stuff, can rattle you and you find yourself following your emotions wherever they lead, instead of you leading them from your position of personal power. 

There are at least two typical ways you might deal with mind chatter, which include either going with it, which puts you in a bad mood you then “share” with others, or self-deprecation because you engage the chatter, so you tell yourself you have to stop this, which frustrates you if you don’t have a way to do this that works. What works for me, as soon as I see this happening (or sometimes before it starts), is I use a few empowering statements and repeat them like a mantra. 

If you truly desire improved quality of life, this cannot manifest fully until you show up fully. But this doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive or forceful to be fully present. Though it’s important to be fully present in life, it’s imperative you be fully present inside Your Self. 

You cannot be strong in your personal power if or when your emotions are out of control. Mind chatter keeps you out of control because you choose to let the needy ego run amok rather than be in control of your Self. If your life, or a particular area of it, seems out of control, look at how well you’re controlling your mind first. Put what you’ve read here into practice and you will begin to build your life force energy and personal power. Whatever you think you want, personal power and life force energy are what you really want, because they are what support you to experience your life the way you really desire to, inwardly then outwardly. 

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer


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 Joyce Shafer is a Life Coach, author, and provider of Fulfillment Is an Inside Job!, an 8-week potential game-changing online coaching course, and publisher of State of Appreciation, a free weekly online newsletter that blends practical & spiritual approaches to enhance personal power and self-realization through articles and free downloads at


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