How My Mother and I Disagree

Pat Garner

Having a mother who has very strong opinions about “retirement”, I thought I would share my take on the subject.

While I agree with Barbara on her thought that there’s this “senior culture” that caters to the idea that your first step of retirement often is to check into senior living facility and play cards until your dead, I have a different perspective.

I will share from my perspective of what retirement is to me and only me. Everyone has their own thoughts and feelings when it comes to retirement and what it means to them.

As a working adult raising kids, I would romanticize about what it would be like to be on a permanent vacation. What would it be like to sleep late every day? Do whatever you want whenever you want? Go wherever you want to go? Eat when you want? The list could go on. In 2017 my husband and I met with our financial planner to discuss what “retirement” would look like for us from a financial perspective. He dug deep into how we want to live and after much discussion he said you can absolutely do this. Luckily, Bob and I had planned well during our working years.

What my Mom and I use

Fast forward to June 30, 2018, my “last day” of my 9-5 real estate management job. To my surprise it didn’t take long to unwind from the grind I’ve known since I started working at 16 years old. We had planned multiple trips and projects to tackle all within a short period of time. That was what I knew. Bob would remind me I now have 6 Saturday’s and a Sunday, and nothing needs to be done all in one day. I ended up pulling back and spreading things out. That took some learning!

In the last 19 months I have accomplished quite a bit. There’s more I want to do, and none are related to a 9-5 j.o.b. This is where Barbara and I differ in our views of staying active. Bob and I are avid outdoors people. We love to camp and hike. We have a travel trailer and enjoy being around others who share the same desire to be outside. Our time at the Grand Canyon last summer was so memorable.  We plan to create more memories this year! Bob also plays in a tournament softball league, plays golf and plays softball in a recreational league. I’m a resource for my 25-year-old son who has a growing and successful real estate practice, so I’m still active in a world I know so well. I can help him from anywhere and I earn income when he closes deals.

We are never bored, and we enjoy the lifestyle we have created.

Our time to do is now. We’re both in good health and we have the financial means to enjoy ourselves. Life is too short not to take risks.  I don’t want to be on my death bed regretting anything. I don’t regret my decision to leave the 9-5. It was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. My time with Bob is incredibly precious to me and we both value the time we’re spending together. Bob recently had an older sister pass away and just last week a younger softball teammate of Bob passed away from a heart attack.

We don’t know when it’s our time to go and I don’t want to spend my time wishing for someday. Someday is now!

To wrap this up, if you love what you do in the 9-5 world then I say keep at it!  But for me I left a job that had lost its joy and I no longer loved. My full-time focus is creating new memories with the man I love so much.

What’s your take on this term “retirement”? I’d love to hear, so please comment below…




  1. Good topic…!! I am with your view of retirement but still am struggling a bit about how to spend days when not traveling etc. Just feeling like I am in a bit of a zone right now which I am sure will pass. I like to envision what my life will be like when I have life changes. The movie is a little blurry right now. I appreciate you addressing this topic.

  2. I can’t imagine Barbara Morris in a retirement place and playing cards all day! Nor, can I imagine myself in that situation.

    Glad you are enjoying your retirement with your husband. Good!

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