Tatyana Wilson, Ed. S.

Remember your youth?  Your first day of school… Your first time to the movies?  Your first date?  Your first anything… Depending on your culture, each of these memories will conjure up specific feelings, memories, and peer pressures.  I’m willing to argue that “peer pressure” is just a less threatening way to say “brainwash”.

Brainwash? Propaganda? Nah, that’s just the way of the commies isn’t it?  Think again!

And, if you think you’re free to wear and do whatever you want, think that one again too.

Imagine if on your first day of school, you came with a large bag complete with your favorite rock collection, a frog in a jar, a bunch of paint and paper, maybe some kimchi for lunch too.  Wouldn’t that be the coolest thing ever?

Of course, that’s not “normal” so that wouldn’t have happened, would it? Why?  Well, you might say that it wouldn’t ‘happen because kids have to come with A, B, and C in their bags and be ready for 1, 2, and 3 at school… Fair enough, but who decided that?

Then, think about what your first movie was?  Was it a cultural experience like Star Wars or Indiana Jones?  Did you invent going to the movies?  Of course not.  It was already here and you just fell right in line.  Movie-going has dominated the American lifestyle since the 1950s.

Movies have largely shaped our narrative about a slew of cultural norms: fashion, attractiveness, political agendas, who our enemies are, what our worst fears are, what our hopes and dreams are.  These are all highly influenced by the history of what’s been in movies and media.

The “new normal”? Source: @free.the.mind

Let’s think about the ideas of what to wear and who’s attractive that have come out of Hollywood.  What adjectives come to mind? Young? Handsome? Gorgeous? Well-toned? Sexy? Heartthrob? All these are the people we’ve looked up to for decades because they’re larger than life and trigger larger-than-life reactions in us.

Then think about your first date or first romantic interest?  Do you think the culture we grow up in doesn’t influence who you end up finding attractive or interesting?  Do you think there are some clues about this in the number of people who end up with the wrong person?  Falling for the wrong person is practically a rite of passage in the USA.  Do you think this might be another clue in the removal of critical thinking from our entire cultural paradigm?

I assert that all of these things are related and what you wear day in and day out is along the same lines.

You’re told in no uncertain terms from an absurdly young age that Barbie, Baywatch (Ah, the 90’s!), and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Ed. are the gold-standard in feminine beauty and attractiveness.  You’re supposed to be flawless and seemingly strong, but at the same time be a sexual force to be reckoned with (someone with huge breasts and ice-cold heart might suffice).

For men, it’s the chiseled, tanned, muscular bodies with a fun grin and a bad-boy streak.  How’m I doing so far?

You know I’m right with this.  How did these cultural sexuality and attractiveness paradigms get molded?  Largely by the media.  If you think the media is always your friend, just telling you the truth and making sure you’re well-informed to live a happy and healthy life, then you’ve been living under a rock lately.

If you extrapolate that point and take it all the way back to the 50s when this all began, you can see that people have been taking their cues on dressing, speaking, and thinking right from the mainstream narrative someone else decided to infuse into the culture.  Depending on your personality, you may be fine with that or you may already be ticked off about such large-scale influence in culture.

That all doesn’t matter, though.  What matters is asking yourself, if you rewind time, what really would support your well-informed, happy, healthy life.

This is how you would know what to wear once and for all.  Because you would be free to make your own choices based on comfort, practicality, quality, structural design, and colors that flatter your skin tone. Anything less is a never-ending nightmare of being stuck in a maze of mirrors.

Walk away.  Do you!  Do your strongest, most independent self.  Do the little boy or girl you were before all the brainwash to look a certain way or to need to be looked upon a certain way.  Just dress for dignity and respect.  Love yourself and don’t sell yourself short by seeking mainstream approval.

 Copyright ©Tatyana Wilson 2020


Tatyana Wilson is CEO of  She invites you to visit her site. Get instant access to her “The 3 Rules of Color: The Secrets of Choosing Clothing Colors That Make You Look Your Best” It’s  FREE. Receive it when you sign up for her newsletter  here


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