Changing The Future

Lura Zerick

Lura Zerick

SIXTY-EIGHT years ago I stopped being Lura Spears. Oh, if I could have known the future – I would have RUN back to the safety of my Mama’s arms! However, since I had just graduated from high school, after entering my senior year at age 15, I was certain that I was an adult and quite capable of making adult decisions —– like getting married!

Wrong again! I was book-smart but life-dumb, which is not a good stage to learn about life and/or people. I believed everyone was good – and honest – and with this state of mind, set myself up for disappointment. I even thought that the Mamas of everyone were like mine, who taught me right from wrong. I can still hear her soft-spoken voice as she would tell me, “Honey, don’t do that; it is wrong.” She taught me not to lie – or take anything that isn’t mine. I have tried  to live by those rules. My Mama was one of my greatest blessings.

In getting married at age 16, and having that mind-set, I was not aware that I was linking myself to one of the greatest liars I have ever known. He, of course, was just the beginning of a huge group. His mother and I were very close; she was a wonderful lady who became another “Mama” to me. I’m sure she taught him not to lie but, somehow, he never learned that lesson. As I got older I learned that there were MANY who didn’t learn that lesson. Even so, I have to admit that my young husband seemed to have a talent for lying. It took longer to learn the truth; others were more easily found out.

Once I learn that someone is careless with the truth, I avoid that person as much as I can. Sometimes it isn’t possible to avoid everyone who lies but then I must make myself believe that whatever these say is not important to me. I do prefer to be told the truth but my preferences aren’t always important to others. So, to protect my ‘feelings’, I tell myself that it doesn’t matter, but, actually, it does.

I have the same attitude toward anyone who takes items that are not theirs. If I have something you like, tell me and I might give it to you. If you take it without my permission, however, I will be furious and you have lost a friend. I try to stay away from liars and/or thieves; I don’t need either in my life.

I prefer to know the truth, even if it is not nice. I prefer an ugly truth rather than learn that someone has lied to me. That disappointment is never repaired because after that time, I never believe anything that person says. That means that I must stay away from that person as much as possible.

I’ve been told that I am so gullible that many recognize that right away. These can then tell me whatever they choose and ‘laugh at me’ for believing it. Let them laugh; lying is their problem, not mine. The truth might hurt but learning that someone is a liar is even more painful. This fact will totally change our relationship and I have lost respect for someone I might have cared for. This means, actually, that our future time spent together will have little meaning for me. Sorry about that; this is part of the cost of being a liar.

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About Lura Zerick

83-year-old  Lura Zerick is the mother of 5 adults, grandmother of 12 and

great-grandmother of 7. She now lives on six acres of woods in S.E. Alabama, near Geneva.

Her freelance articles are  published in regional and national magazines. She has authored five books. She wrote and produced a weekly, then daily, radio program, Encouragement for Today’s Woman; edited and published Living with Hope, a quarterly newsletter using the writings of women across America; co-hosted a 2-hour weekly radio program, The Saturday Morning Show; participated in and co-produced a Sunday afternoon gospel music radio program.

Lura was Executive Editor of a regional magazine, Grassroots South; Editor’s Assistant for an international publication, Journal of Marital & Family Therapy;  wrote a newspaper column, Encouragement for Today and wrote features and news articles for various newspapers. Her articles have been published in Alabama Living, Spirit Led Woman, Just Between Us, Writer’s Digest, Mature Living, Christian Single, Army Flier, Army Times, Looking Back and other publications.